Revised police policy on police emails

January 11, 2007

Please circulate this memo to all officers and police staff within this said Force, er now. What are you waiting for?

Revised policy on official emails
  1. Emails sent by police employees using police computers will hence forth become the property, of the Force, or precisely, myself, the Chief Constable. This revised amendment is amended to protect the human rights of myself, the Chief Constable, and my peers . ( The oppressed might be liable under The new ammendment to the Theft Act 1968 incorporated in the TWINING ACT 2007. )

  2. Emails highlighting poor working practices will not be circulated to DC, Insp G, PC Bloggs, or any other blog writers, or any tabliod newspaper or police review. No, no no.

  3. Any person found to be in contravention of the revised policy will be dealt with via the new misconduct/misfortune/theft codes, (that I have written just and which I will circulate laters).

  4. This revised policy here-with the consent of ACPO now applies to all 43 Forces. All chief constables will have the same jurisdiction as myself.

Dated: 11/01/07

Chief Constable Twining,




  1. It wouldnt astound me if this sort of email did come out from SMT as an outcome of the witch hunt in Wiltshire.
    Most people at work have read DC’s blog and book and its this sort of email sent to DC which shows what a pink&fluffy world Policing has come to where we are cuddling criminals and leaving Joe Public to it!!

  2. This post is featured on “Top of the Cops” at:


    Nice job!

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