Urgent press release from Shireshire

March 20, 2007
In an urgent press release from Twining, Twining states: “Chief Officers have come across a rare and new idea in urging Police Officer’s to engage more with the public and asking them to wear name badges. As officer’s wearing these name badges soon found out working a late shift outside a night-club, it is rather not so cool having one’s first name on the badges. Being referred to as Johnny when your name is John or Dick is not endearing at 2am in the morning. Still I am sure the Senior Officer’s don’t mind having their first names on badges. Having heard about this incident about a Dick at 2am, the Shireshire Senior Officer’s met immediately for a debrief and all hell, it is alleged, let loose. One of the senior Officer’s who was wrongly referred to as Ian began a massive brawl in the main conference area at headquarters. Words such as, “Ian you plonker,” “Jim you fool,” “Diane honestly do that again,” and “Leave my ears alone,” were heard as the team met. Shortly afterwards the Senior Team were seen to leave discretely via the exit door, one holding his jaw, and another clutching his arm in pain. It’s amazing what Name badges can do to you. Source: Canteen staff found giggling on the floor at Shireshire. End of press release.”


  1. In a latest update from Twining, a young PC Richard Head was allegedly stopped in the street and some drunken louts shouted to him, “Oi Dick…Ead.” And this story allegedly made the local press.

    As a result of this incident and one of the Chief Officer’s allegedly getting a sore head as a result of calling another Chief the wrong name the name badges have now been withdrawn.

    The C/I who suggested this idea has been promoted and is busy thinking up new ideas for their next promotion. Oh deary me!

  2. talk about multiple personalty syndrome………………

  3. You mean Chief Officer’s have MPD?For me this was just a take on the closed door conversations they tend to have…..

  4. But the name badges thing, that is real.

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