Who is Twining?

April 14, 2007

Many of you have asked this ultimate of questions, who is this character?, Black in Blue, (Twining). Is he real? Is he a bird? Is he a plane? Is what he says true? Well, yes it is. Of course it is. And I am Twining! Some of you already know who Twining is for real so shh, but, after soul-searching Twining has decided, as Inspector Gadget had, that it is time to show the real Twining! But unlike Gadget I have not covered up my face. I have no need to. On Saturday 14th April 2007, therefore, let it be known that Twining, aka policenandraceinnit is here, (top right). This, my friends, is me.

Shortly I am going to be interviewed by trusted colleagues like Southwest, Totally UNPC, Franky, Bigfella, even what’s her name, Bloggs, where they will ask me questions and I will answer them honestly. Wait for it. Totally UNPC, please don’t wee yourself with laughter.

Pass this piece on to others so that those in policing in this country and far beyond, (including the Police Review), are made aware that Twining has come out. A full interview is sure to follow and will be an absolute coup.

In the meantime please admire my good looks and enjoy the truth you hear in what I write and have written. Of course in keeping an eye on you all, I assume that rubber heel folk in PSD might chuckle a little, though if my DCC was to find out, I think he would cry. So when they search my locker they will find the fine attire you see me wearing. Live long, prosper, love all, and hate none.



  1. I’m so excited… a little bit of wee just came out!

  2. Ahh,

    I had no idea you were so….. so……. ah…… PINK……. very handsome, I must say, and very well dressed,


  3. Come along Mr Twining, that’s it, take the tablets like I showed you before…hmmm? remember? If you don’t take the medication you’ll start to hallucinate won’t you? We don’t want to got through all that nonsense about you being a police sergeant now do we?

  4. Dear Doctor,

    What precisely would you want to prescribe me? The truth is a bitter pill to swallow….


  5. What’s all this nonsense pretending to be a cartoon character?

  6. Exactly my dear Noddy. Ze symptoms are how ze condition manifests itself wizzin ze brain. Ze patient now begins to truly believe that he is a police sergeant. This is of course complete nonsense, let alone being a pink penthar.

  7. Dear Doctor, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…Humour me. Noddy has. And with good reason.

  8. ze larrrrst ssing any patient needs is to be supported in ze beleif det he or she is actually undertaking ze role zey belieff zey are in. Noddy is not doing you any favours, and neezah vill I. I em a fully qualified bogus doctor und heff ze fake qualifications to prrrrrove it!

  9. “Scotland Yard’s bobby-with-a-grudge, Iraninan born Chief Superintendent Ali Dizaei, agreed to a book-signing session at Waterstone’s in Putney to publicise his controversial tome, Not One of Us: The Trial That Changed Polciing in Britain Forever. Only six of the £3 tickets had been sold. Now he has cancelled, pleading a WORK COMMITMENT [my capitals]”.

    Ephraim Hardcastle, Daily Mail, Tusday April 17 2007.

    That’s another bloke that needs to see a doctor – he really does believe he’s a police chief superintendent!! “…But The Drugs Don’t Work……..”

  10. Doctors, Doolittle and Freud my coming out made UNPC laugh and Noddy too. As well as the Invisible man! These are genuine people. So don your clothes and tell us who you really are? I think we are all quite intrigued and rather puzzled.

  11. Blackinblue:
    Nice to see you after all this time!
    Very handsome, aren’t you?

    To much information, thankyou.

  12. I always thought you were just a big pussy cat at heart!!

  13. Twining,

    If you have been following closely the tales from up here in Toytown, you will know that we have a number of characters, some good and some bad. Some young, some old. Well I had a visit from Mr Plod today telling me that a friend of his, of a similar age, is apparently well taken with your new revealed persona and has shunned Mr Plod’s advances ‘cos she hears you have stripes.

    She is known to us all as Miss Pink Cat and she has asked me to send you a photo.

    She says you can read more about her here.

    Good luck!

    p.s. Cats are popular of late.

  14. Southwest and Noddy, I do thank you! Who is this fine lady. Mrs Twining clipped me round the ear!
    Now come up with some interesting questions about policing, about life and anything, email me, and I will post. Let’s take the pee out of our Colonial Leaders who seem to look after only themselves! The word must be revealed that Twining is here. Let the NBPA talk about Twining. Let ACPO talk about Twining. Let’s give Johnno some support.

  15. What puzzles me is where are you hiding your tail senor pussycat???

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