Outsourcing the call centre to where?

October 9, 2007

bigben.jpgA little birdie has advised me that one force in particular, eh-hum and Somerset, that’s a clue right, is outsourcing it’s call taking to India. Hmmm I smiled, who is in line for a promotion now? Twining would like to take this wonderful opportunity in awarding the Chief Constable of eh-hum and Somerset a GONG for this outrageous and spliffing idea. Twining has also heard that the following is the implementation plan:

(1) The Force will buy some land in Goa. Nice!
(2) The Force will build a call centre complex within a holiday village where there is a gym, pool, jaccuzi, and  several holiday lets also. Twining like’s this!
(3) The Force will send a Chief Inspector, and Inspector, two Sergeants and 3 PC’s to manage the function. (First come first served  of course.) Nice!
(4) The Chief will holiday there with the DCC and SMT. Not so nice!
(5) The Force will also let out some flats for further income. Spliffing!

Twining would like to remind eh-hum and Somerset that there may be some other implications also. Watch out for the Goodness gracious me type sketch to follow next time in the chronicles of Twining.


  1. Nice, but when the call inevitably comes in on Saturday night for a disturbance in the Raj, does the call taker think it’s a wind-up, or put the phone down in righteous indignation? Not a good ‘ideal’ my love, lush though the Chiefs think the idea maybe. You should get some decent detections on the beach in Goa!

  2. PS Suggest turning Goodness Gracious Me into a Western, what with Chiefs and Indians, all you’re missing are the cowboys – oops sorry, forgot, they want to BUILD a call centre!

  3. J I think we are in some agreement, the COWBOYS are the one’s that have thought this idea through. Bet it saves them £2.1234miliion over the next 2 years. Not withstanding any abuse the call taking staff can get. Racist incidents will creep up perhaps! This is a joke!

  4. What an absolute farce. This is typical of the British Policing system today. The one thing in this country that the general public dont like is outsourced call centres which are in foreign countries, (no matter where they are). The service is appalling at the best of times. By outsourcing Control Rooms/Call Taking facilities the Chief Constable of this force is belittling the Police Force generally and any other Police Force that follows this route is doing the same. The Government needs to put a stop to this stupid stupid idea right now……..immediately in fact.

  5. “The one thing in this country that the general public don’t like is outsourced call centres which are in foreign countries.” So what? Who’s interested in what the public want? Certainly not ‘career-chasing senior cops.’

  6. I’m going to Barbados! To Barbie Barbie!

  7. Oh Blimee, goodness, gracious, me! Char-wallahhhhhhh

  8. Exactly! for those that don’t know, Char-walah means tea maker.

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