Today I met up with PCSO Bloggs…

April 22, 2008

This week Sergeant Twining flew to London to catch up with another police blogger, and boy was PCSO Bloggs mysterious? It was mid-day and I sat waiting on the terrace of a famous Italian coffee shop in Covent Garden looking at the canvases plastered all over the walls with provocative sun-kissed landscapes of old Sicily. Then at five minutes past the hour Bloggs made an entrance that would usurp the socks off of the world’s most famous female celebrities. Heads began to turn.

“I have pre–ordered some lunch for us Bloggs,” I said , “some wine, some bread, and a selection of savouries.” We sat, ate and passed the time of day. And this is just a taste of some of the conversation we had.

Q “Just reading through your blog you have alot to offer the job, you know, er policing. When are you joining as a regular?”

A “First I’d like to say I think it’s great that someone is taking an interest in the person behind the blog. The Nightjack interview was intriguing and the interaction between some police bloggers is like a soap opera. It’s all very entertaining stuff. I would like to apply one day. I’m not in a position to at this point in my life, as my work and personal life balance dictates that it would be too difficult. It will happen one day, though. I’ll be sure to blog about the transition, too.”

“Q PCSO Bloggs, you realise you are quite stunning., but enough of that; tell me as a PCSO what are your views on the suggestion that we now have a two tier policing system, and what do you think they mean when they say it?”

A “Two tiers hay? Well, I tried to address this in my post on Wednesday 16th titled ‘them and us’, I may have failed miserably though. It’s still uncharted territory and the role is still new. It could go a number of ways. I think in some forces we are a kind of lower tier, or type of enforcement officer, with lots of responsibilities and powers, whereas other forces PCSOs are not ‘enforcement officers’ at all, but more council type representatives who have a similar uniform but little responsibility and less of an involvement with policing. Until it’s all standardised, I don’t think we really know what we are, or are supposed to be.”

Q “I think you write brilliantly Bloggs. But do tell me what’s hay got to do with two tiers huh? Damn Aristocrats and middle class farmers always budge their way in. I don ‘t mean you Bloggs, I mean hay. In fact your blog statistics should verify your popularity which I think has something to do with being blonde. There is sadly a two tier but what do you think of this Mark Thomas character? What is it about him such that you post his videos?”

A “Mark Thomas is a legend. I’ve been a fan for some time. I don’t always agree with his politics, but he puts it across in such a way that you can only laugh. He’s a very entertaining bloke. The videos I posted made me literally laugh out loud. My child looked at me as if I was mad as I was laughing so loudly. Comedy, in all forms, is a big part of my life.”

Q “You have children? Hmm, I note that you dismally failed regarding your petition to remove Gordon Brown, what would you like to petition against next and why?”

A “There may be another petition in me, I’m not sure. It may have to be a little more serious. I still cannot understand why they won’t allow that e petition. I thought the idea was to save paper and stuff? Not for them to decide what petition is worthy.”

Q “I was hoping that you would take on a petition to get the words “chak-de” admitted to the English Dictionary. They are Punjabi words and kids laugh at the middle aged male dancers who use these words. In fact have a look at this video below from Goodness gracious me. I have posted it before. It’s brilliant and these are words I think that would assist policing issues. Anyway what football team do you support, and who is your book deal agent?”

Goodness Gracious Me – ChakDe

A “I love Goodness gracious me, it’s a great sketch show. I remember one of the funniest sketches of all time when the family bought a cow as a pet, “come on kids, play with the cow” they bought a “cow flap’, too. Genius. Sorry, not a football fan and I’m going to self-publish with the help of a friend who knows a considerable amount more than me about publishing books, unless you’re offering Twining?”

Q With legs like that I am not at all surprised you have other pastimes, as in fitness, you know…You have a book deal too! I am quite impartial to Division 7 myself, this being the Indian Sunday league at the moment. You write like a romantic, a bit like me and, but enough of that. Why?

A “I’m glad you picked up on the romantic nature of some of my posts. My post ‘walking the streets’ is a fine example of the nostalgic moods I’m often in. When you do this job you have a lot of time to just watch people, watch human nature unedited. Sometimes it makes me smile, other times it fills me with wrath, but hay, that’s a whole different story.”

Q “That damn middle class hay, who is this hay? Or do you mean Fonzie? Hmm. Blogg’s, alas I must now go, and as much as I have enjoyed lunch and your company, I too must fly that a way; my plane awaits me…… And like Bhangraman I was gone…..leaving Bloggs to get that cheque!



  1. […] Jen-nay wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptOr do you mean Fonzie? Hmm. Blogg’s, alas I must now go, and as much as I have enjoyed lunch and your company, I too must fly that a way; my plane awaits me…… And like Bhangraman I was gone…..leaving Bloggs to get that cheque! […]

  2. That thing with the bill? Again…..people will start avoiding your company :). Nice post Twining. NJ

  3. Twining, you’re getting a bit of a reputation for not paying your way!

    I enjoyed our chat and the bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape, must do it again sometime!


  4. I hope she’s blogging about what a fox you are too brother!

  5. Now now, I have not met anyone for some time that appears to have had the same impact on the police blogging world as PCSO Bloggs has. PCSO Bloggs drinks wine well….

    TUPC – I have said this before and am glad you have – brothers. Nice to see you back. About the fox thing…..Well…..now where was I?

    NJ – Er well. About the cheque dude…NJ dude, you have stuck your neck out in certain posts you have written about ethnicity. But that is good. Takes a courageous man to support the right things. Or woman, not that you are a woman, it’s this PC thing….

    I wonder who I must interview soon? Oi TUPC, Ninja warrior, brother, I am thinking, it might be you.

  6. Really good interview Twining. Enjoying the blog.

  7. hmm.. nice )

  8. emm… informative..

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