********Sergeant Twining has an audience with the retired Dickiebo********

September 14, 2008

On a cold and dark night this week Sergeant Twining was invited up North to visit the infamous retired Detective blogger known as Dickiebo, http://dickiebo.wordpress.com/. A passionate individual who wears Britain on his sleeve, Twining made his way hoping to seek some support for his escapades! On my way yonder, the thought of this ghastly rain and wind, it felt like I was travelling in a boat; this brought memories back about family travels from India to Africa. Alas! When I got there my steady sat nav, aka sturdy A to Z, pinpointed the precise location in some little village. Dickie lives near a green, and so through this rain we sat there in our waterproof macs pondering about Britain, life and the world. This is how it went.

Q What are we doing here yaar, how’s grandma? Tell me about the good times in Antigua and the people?


A Antigua. Only stayed there one day, en route to Anguilla – a ‘dust-hole in the Caribbean!’ Loved Anguilla and the people – except the teenagers, who were very much like their black counterparts in London – Huge chips on their shoulders, truculent, disrespectful, anti- any kind of authority, and unwilling to change. The remainder of the population were great, and we enjoyed many, many happy times together.

A You are patriotic aren’t you? Chips, what chips? Do I fit into that view of patriotism?

Q No.

Q Oh come on Dickie, we’re brothers, mates, friends. Tell me I fit in. Tea, with or without, black or white?

A White, no sugar. 

Q What is your favourite beer?

A Carling lager.

Q Cool, I like Holsten too, there we have something in common, we like the same beer, we both like Holsten. The great British values mate… what are they?

A Tolerance and fair-play.

Q Honestly Dickie, by whose yardstick do we measure fair-play? Huh, Huh. Now, recently your reviewed my blog and awarded me Dickibo favourite site, I thank you. But why?

A I like the truth – as seen individually.

Q When’s the tea coming old boy? Tell me what would you change about race and policing? Explain.

A My yardstick would be the same about policing as about life in this country – conform to our ways, or go to a country where you can conform to theirs.

Q So, I guess in your view there is a way that we can all live together in perfect harmony, side by side. By the way, I don’t like this darned rain. Your favourite Japanese car of the 70’s? What is it? 

A Didn’t know of any.

Q Ah I see, you liked the 260Z. Me too. Great car, great concept. What do you make of this Ghaffur V Blair thingy? 

A It is hard to say which is the bigger disgrace.

Q It is a sad state of affairs, and in my opinion, for what it matters, I think the environment of race change has been politically controlled by the likes Of Blair and others to suit their own ends. Blair is not the only one, you could counts his adviser’s in this, and the Home Office. If you mess with these people then expect to be slapped down. Ghaffur has now stood up only to be slapped down by Stephenson. Biting the hand that feeds, if that hand has more power, is dangerous.


A Take care, old boy.


Q What do you mean take care dude, I am staying the night.


Q OK, there’s your room.


A As Dickie guides me over to the shed, I wonder, and as night falls and Dickie is warmed up in his house I am content with the guest bed, a fire, a warm cup of cha, er sorry, I meant pint of Holsten. And as I am left reflecting on what the hell I am doing in this village and how I will get back, hoping my trusty steed, the Nissan does not let me down I have my cha. I guess I can see that Dickie may be old, but he means well. I think what he is saying is fairplay counts but people must try and integrate, without integration, then there will be conflict. Oh dear, whats’ that crying scream I think, wolves I say, there are wolves out here! Dickie! As I look on in the corner sat with a tweed coat and cap is a gent I recognise well, “Tea Old boy,” he says. My teeth nearly fall out. I shout, “Dickie you git,” I pack my bag and scarper thinking what on earth was the Commissioner, Blair,  doing there. On my way out I leave the latest copy of the Twining Chronicles with him….saying, “Read on no, read on son, you might learn something, but I must dash. Ask your staff officer to give me a tinkle…and you owe Dickie £50 for my stay here.”


One comment

  1. When did you make these notes, Officer?

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