The boys are back in town

December 19, 2008


The boys a re back in town and they look good. Well it’s that time of year again silly. No, not Christmas; OK although it is coming up to Christmas, i’ll grant you that, but that’s not what I mean by that time of year. You know what I mean, well it’s the time of year when the men in suits visit us all.

Are there enough of them to go around 43 Forces? 3 times 43 = 129. Are there that many suits I thought? Yes you guessed it, it’s them, the dreaded HMIC suits that come back yearly. 

The men in suits, and grey suits too, with red and white striped ties looked a little odd. I got an email some time ago saying they wanted to speak to the BPA. I duly responded by attending. There were two of them, both men, and tall. There was a third female, also similarly dressed in a suit but she was female, and she stayed outside.

I wanted to ask them some questions like where do they all work? Is there enough parking for them? How many Senior ranking bods are they? And what would happen if they returned them to Force’s? And do they all wear sunglasses? Did I get to ask them? Oh no.

They asked us, “Tell us, do you think you are listened to?” It’s the classic question that is asked everywhere by the HMIC. My colleagues left me till last and the suit asking the questions looked at me and smiled. I wanted to say something but couldn’t get a word in. I was planning my attack.

And then he let me in. “Right enough of this,” I said, (this is b——s I thought), “and no they don’t listen. They only listen to who and what they want. Let me explain myself. If they don’t like what I may have to say the simply find another minority ethnic to speak to. That’s the way them up there work.”

(Then when they find their token), I didn’t use those words, but I intimated this, and continued, “they latch onto them and use them against us. It’s a joke……..” I sort of continued and said, “race was not even on the agenda.”

The suit that was taking the notes, well his jaw sort of dropped. I could see the insides of his throat.  The room went quiet for a  few minutes. They all looked at me. The questioning suit sort of then smiled said they would do all they could to influence the thinking of the SMT. 

Senior I thought, political more like it, but do they really care? And so after I had had my token coffee I left and went back to work thinking this is what the HMIC do? How SMT react well, if and when they are told by the HMIC what I might have said, well that’s another story. Tea?


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