Ashes to Ashes is back!

April 19, 2009


With all the sad press and bad press reporting the police have had recently we thought it was about time that we included a gem of a story back from the 1980’s. So, if you will, picture the scene. It’s 1982 and there’s a firearm’s job in the city. It’s late at night now and there’s been a stand off.  The offender is in a house allegedly with a firearm.

I understand this was the time when negotiator’s wore the customary bullet proof sheep skin coat when they knocked on the door to tell the offender to come out with their hands up. Anyway, it’s been a long day and the containment officer’s are tired. Nothing is happening.

And on the airways this is what follows through the silence: I swear this is word for word as I heard it.

Unknown Officer mumbles on air: “I’m bored.”

Dispatcher hears this, wakes up, and ignores it.

Unknown Officer mumbles again: “I’m bored.”

The airwaves are open, so all officers hear this. There are chuckles everywhere. Including a few on the air.

Unknown Officer mumbles again: “I’m bored.”

A Superintendant intervenes: “Officer stating they are bored, call sign please?”

Unknown Officer STATES, “I might be bored, but I’m not fucking stupid.”

These days, with airwave terminals, this sort of thing can’t happen. Everyone bar the Superintendent knew who the culprit was. No one was hurt, nothing bad happened, it was just about making light of a bad situation when you are left on containment and it’s cold.

The last words go to the unknown officer: “I might be bored, but I’m not fucking stupid.”

Welcome back to Ashes to Ashes.



  1. I thought that exchange took place during the Iranian Embassy siege?

  2. These are true gems.

  3. I heard it came from the Iranian seige as well.

    I fear it may be an urban myth, but it sounds better after a pint or two, to soften the edges of the day.

  4. Yes, this little exchange has been doing the rounds for a while.

    A family member told me this story from an op they were on whilst part of the Royal Engineers – during the Suez Canal crisis!

  5. This has been rumbling about for ages. There were various plays with dispatchers that could be done with the old radio sets (the in car Storno being the best):-

    0300 am Channel north

    Unknown sender “MP MP, (mumble mumble) six inches”

    MP “Last unit calling go again you’re R1”

    Unknown sender “Yeah MP, (mumble) six inches.”

    MP “Unit calling, i’m only getting six inches”

    Unknow sender, “You need to speak to your husband sweetheart.”

    MP “All cars M2MP out.”


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