Meet Aloo Chaat

June 6, 2009

Meet Special Interrogating Officer Aloo Chaat who incidentally is a friend of a Chief in Shireshire. He is a very interesting fellow, (not the Chief), and a serving officer. Often when he meets me he says, “Twining, I do admire you, you will always know that I respect what you say and do.” I often say, “Ta.” But I look in amazement.

Funny thing is Aloo, in the past  and in my absence often describes me as a dictator, (me, I thought?), someone that doesn’t consult with others, (Ok maybe, but we’re police officer’s for god’s sake, my day job is my day job, I don’t have time to meet up in the canteen or for coffee, or email).

Aloo also, with a number of other Black colleagues, wanted me to meet with them on a basis of them 10 against me. I knew the odds, there would be no minutes of any meeting, so they would pummel me into a corner. Like hell would I give them a chance. Yes, Black people can bully other Black people. 

Then Aloo and a select few members of the BPA met with me and said, “Twining, your services are no longer required in the BPA, you are a loose cannon, because you open your mouth, and  you tell them what we think, but don’t want to say. So we’re happy with our cushy numbers and you rocking the boat is simply spliffingly unacceptable. Please find the exit door, and expedite yourself from the BPA.” And so I did after having pee’d a few people off.

Now I write this piece only because yesterday I found out that Aloo was describing me as this dictator some years back. I am anything but. Thing is he won’t tell me to my face; god therefore knows what he says to the Chief over coffee. People like Aloo exist in the BPA, THEY HAVEN’T A CLUE ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING THERE, BUT THINK THEY ARE DOING IT FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND. UTTER RUBBISH YAAR. THEY ARE IN IT FOR THEMSELVES SO THEY CAN GET BAUBLES AND AWARDS FORM THE CHIEFS. And Chiefsy looks after Aloo.

Still at least he is invited for tea with the Chief; he is a fine upstanding Black colleague, but so two faced yaar. Perhaps I will share in my next few posts what Aloo did after the meeting with Chiefsy. Do I trust Aloo? No thanks. Incidentally aloo means potato and Chaat means “talk.” And here’s a picture of a potato, which is good for only one thing; to be eaten.




  1. Nice Rant T..

    Come on dig the dirt ..

    BTW – Hope you are well..

  2. Is he any relation to Murgh Chat, who is a frequent visitor to my home?

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