Sorry NightJack

June 18, 2009

I have to disagree with you on this one; you have caused no embarrassment to Lancashire. The embarrassment has been caused yet again by some in the media.  Your writings have been regarded as literary, and for this to come from a DC, is an admirable indictment on you, your family and parents. You have brought a sense of Orwell to the art of police blogging. I read your articles in The Times. You are all I expected you to be. It is just a shame that Lancashire might not have had the foresight to recognise your clear ability to engage the community, or perhaps their hands were tied.

If you recall when I interviewed you we met in Southall. Hell! Do you think we were followed by The Times that day? Alas a brave Force would have recognised your achievement and asked you to perhaps amend a few things, but they would have allowed you to continue writing. However, the media has essentially stopped you. As for your family I agree that they are at a place where they don’t want to be, but that is down to the fame and your ability as a writer.

Sadly, I knew your identity as you had inadvertently disclosed it to me sometime ago, but like true friends I let you know so you could correct the cause. As for us this decision to out you it causes big problems. I for one do not want to lose my anonymity because the right wing have had some interest in my blog.  For followers of the Nightjack blog here’s a copy of my interview with Nightjack reprinted. I won’t be deleting this though. 

In an exclusive meeting conducted at a very secret location in the depths of Southall, (and yes Southall is nice for shopping); and at a very local, (and well known), Curry House, Sergeant Twining met up with and interviewed the (now) infamous Jack Night.

Get the low down as Sergeant Twining speaks to the man not only dubbed as the “twinkle toes”  of police blogs but who also looks like Christiano Ronaldo. We all know him as Night Detective.

Q Jack Night first may I present you with a Twining Oscar. Tell me Jack, you have all of a sudden emerged from nowhere on the blog scene. Why have you been in the wilderness?

A I have just been policing for the last 15 years. Like a lot of officers, I heard about Copperfield and when I started looking around, I found Gadget and Bloggs. I started reading them and then I started posting comments. Of course Gadget and Bloggs are gateway blogs and before long I was mainlining yourself, TUPC, WhichEndBites, Dickiebo and PCSO Bloggs to name but a few. There did come a point in February this year when I realised that some of my comments were getting as long as the original posts and I decided to have a go myself. I am still not sure if I am stoking a fad or not. I do enjoy writing it.

Q You read my blog? I have to say the others are kind of good. Gadget is scary though, Bloggs just funny, WEB I think has a heart of gold, TUPC is a bit of a ninja warrior from Metrocity and PCSO Blogger has some good youtube videos. Do you have an agent? Whoops sorry. You didn’t mention ASNT, responseplod, Gazza, BAWPC, Southwest and Franky. They are all pretty good too. Where did you learn to write?

A Tempting to say “at school” but I have always been an avid reader and I suspect that I have absorbed some published literary styles along the way. I laugh out loud at P.J. O’Rourke and I am sad enough to have queued to have William Gibson sign a book for me. There are still some evenings when I look at the blank post screen and wonder what to write. Up to now an idea has always come along.

Q I read Harry Patel, sorry Harry Potter. I find that quite interesting. You really do seem to care about race relation’s. Why?

A It just seems wrong not to care about race relations. Unless we can find some way to rub along together its going to cause a lot of grief. I don’t think we will ever get total harmony because over the sweep of history, that’s usually not how people are with strangers. I will say that before you pass opinion on someone else’s culture and beliefs, it is probably best that you understand said culture and beliefs properly. By this I mean that to comment on say women in Asian society, it may be best if you actually understand it on a deeper level than that available in the daily newspapers. If there is a lesson for race relations in history it is that the majority can quickly be whipped into a vengeful and misguided hysteria by rhetoric. Once roused, if prompted people are capable of terrifying cruelty.

Q On a serious note you are one of a few to realise how cruel tokenism and rhetoric seem to be. Our managers cannot see the wood for the trees and we have let a false industry develop. That false industry will never achieve support for the operational bobby in policing communities. You write well. When is your book coming out?

A Not sure if I am going to do one yet.

Q Did I ask, have you an agent? Whoops sorry. Who inspires you in world politics?

A Well I picketed at the old South African Embassy for a while so I would have to say Nelson Mandela, but at the moment, there really isn’t an active world figure that inspires me. In history, I admire Oliver Cromwell.

Q I am sort of inspired by Monty Panesar. I like him. He’s a world figure. You mean EE Bloggs doesn’t inspire you, honestly! Come on NightJack. She inspires Mr Mcnulty and Jacqui Smith. Are you sure she doesn’t inspire you? Shall we have some tea yaar?  You get the cheque Jack, I’ll get my coat.


  1. Well done Twining. You’re a bloody good egg.

  2. A warm article, Sgt T and I liked the scornfully mocking reference to infamy. Those hopeful of notoriety befalling NightJack must be wishing they had not kicked the ball into their own net.

  3. Chaps I have to say, I Have no idea what infamy is.

  4. Sgt. T, I’m off. My last post has gone out today. Just wanted to drop you a line to say thanks, take care and be safe out there!

  5. This may be a bequest to his devoted readers (or at least those inclined to detective work) but NJ’s posts are still accessible on planet police (rather than slowly melting away as they drop off the edge of the google cache). If he doesn’t want them being accessed by media jackals he might like to email admin@planetpolice.org to have them taken down. The sooner he returns to obscurity the better, in my opinion.
    Cheers, Bronwyn.

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