Twining awards


The Twining Chronicles offer recipients the coveted  and recognised Twining Oscar and Gong. These awards are sponsored by:







Asian Voice

Bjorn Borg

W.H. Smith

Marks and Spencer

ASDA Walmart

Brian Ferry

Sir Alan Sugar

HM The Queen

The Mahtama Gandhi Foundation

The FA

Gardener’s World

Dell, but to name a few.

And Fuji







Thumbs up

Coca Cola, Pepsi,Tango

Prince Harry

Ali G

Sanjeev Bhaskar, and me. 


Previous recipients of the Oscar include Dickiebo, (Double Oscar), Copperfield, (Treble Oscar), Nightjack, and Noddy. As a recipient of the Oscar you are in excellent company.

Previous recipients of the GONG include Ian Blair, Cressida Dick, Norman Bettison, and David Coleman.



  1. On this day in history let it be known that a double Twining Oscar is hereby awarded to the bright, intelligent and witty writings of Robin Hood, Tuck, Wench et al from bentsociety.

    This awared is duly awarded for their take on Sharia Law, the N word, and generally being good fellows of the cloth. I just want to know who these academic writers are? Surely they can’t be from…..Nottingham….Note the pun?


  2. Thanks fellow blogger! I love bent society too!

    kind regards


  3. Thanks fellow blogger! I, too, love bent society!

    Kind regards


  4. Where is my award Twining? 😦

  5. On this day in history let it be noted that the next Twining Oscar goes to PCSO Jo Bloggs for her sterling efforts in the world of PCSO’ing, for having dinner with me in Camden where I interviewed her, and for being a nice person, er Blonde!

    There is another Blondie I would like to mention today, Boris Johnson, but I would just like to mention him, that is all!

  6. The more I read your blog the more I find my self doubled up in laughter, I’d say you are the sub equatorial Boris Johnson, steady now its meant to be a compliment, you’re some one very serious about your subject but either intentionally or unintentionally very funny in a nice way.

  7. Lorenzo, Boris me? Borat maybe. You have caught the spin of the blog here! Er and come on, the aim is intentional, the hypocrisy is dire, Twining for mayor. But I don’t have blonde hair. And I love Liverpool.

  8. Station Sergeant is duly awarded a Twining Oscar today. Let it be known that this unusually individual and hairy Sergeant is a force to be reckoned with; a force like no other force. He can hear Jacqui Smith snorting from a distance, such are his bat ears. He can read minds and ACPO protocols without going to their webiste. He is super human. Indeed a force, like the Met, should be named after him. Some say he is a fearless ninja man; Sergeant Twining says he is simply feared.

  9. On this day in history let it be known that a treble Twining gong goes to one of the most embarassing upper class police leaders ever, “Normsie Bettison” for ACPO’s consulation with those that might be considered radicals. Thank god we won’t be consulting with this one radical again. “Normsie” I told you so years ago….but your pride meant you could not open your ears and eyes to what I was saying, even though you have striking ears. It’s a farce that we consult with those that are deemed racist. You couldn’t make that up!

  10. Let it be known, yee-hay, yee-hay, that yesterday on this day in history, met anon was awarded a rare Twining Oscar for his genuinity and for being a decent Copper without a degree.

    Not all Cops require degrees, and those that do have them, well there are some of these that are super graduates, who can be almost too self centred without any understand of policing.

    But equally there are other non graduates who have made at close to the top that are equal upper class aspirationalists with a brain the size of a pea.

    Metanon is a capable individual and I like him. Today’s award is sponsored by Tilda Basmati rice.

  11. Anjem Choudary is herwith awarded a Twining gong on 31/10/09; the 31st of October as a date is a good reason why he deserves one.

    Today’s award is sponsored by me.

  12. Today an Oscar is awarded to the BNP in accordance with a alcohol frenzied clash with some Asian youths in London. Yes this was typical of “P” bashing, although the dreaded words wasn’t said, bet it was murmured. Alas the BNP won no seats in the May 6th 2010 election. Thank God. For that they deserve a Gong too.

  13. Yee-hay,yee-hay, let it be known that David Cemeron is awarded a gong. Why on earth did he put Theresa May in charge of equality? Fau-pax or deliberate?

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